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Just time and space to let things evolve naturally.Truth be told, a lot of people pursue relationships due to the latter reason, rather than the former.You may be surprised and find that the person you’re interested in has similar fears.For people who are widowed, dating after a devastating loss like this is absolutely terrifying.In fact, some people who have the most difficult time with romantic partnerships are those who were traumatized by narcissistic or borderline parents.You might have a really solid schedule that you like to stick to, and you’re not fond of the idea of compromising for the sake of another person’s wants and needs.If you’re someone who needs to have an emotional connection with a sexual partner, facing these potential options can be horrifying, especially if someone you find attractive is only interested in a one-off.Negotiate these issues together, and you’ll have a greater idea of where you can meet halfway.In fact, it implies that “catching” emotions for the person you’re bedding is on par with catching a particularly heinous STI, and should be avoided at all costs.The latter is common if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, so there’s an underlying fear of having to deal with unwanted drama and attempts to control you.In fact, unless you met your dream partner at the age of 12 and have had a fairytale relationship ever since, chances are you have some type of relationship trauma to unpack.Chances are one (or a few) of these may apply to you, and there are ways to heal from all of them.In areas where you both may be overwhelmed, see if you can alleviate certain pressures by reaching out to your respective families or social circles, or even get assistance from a counselor or therapist.After all, unless you have a very casual “friends with benefits” arrangement, having any kind of intimacy with another person will require a certain amount of time and attention on your part. You might feel a bit nervous about explaining to a new date that you can’t go back to your place to have sex because your parent with dementia lives with you.Or that you’re only available for dates on a few weeknights every other week because of your childcare schedule.– Do you have a very full life?There’s little to no emphasis placed on actual intimacy, with all focus placed on what amounts to masturbating with someone else’s body.You can also agree on a technique that works for both of you if/when a conflict or insecurity arises. If we allow ourselves to really open up and love someone else with everything we have, we risk utter and complete devastation if anything were to happen to them.– Do you feel as though you don’t have much time for yourself?One effective way to approach this is by sitting down with the person you’re dating and having a good, solid talk about your fears.TV shows and films might give the impression that everyone your age has their life fully under control, and is financially stable, with a great house and a car, but that’s rarely the case.As a result, when and if people find themselves single after being in a long-term relationship, they might be terrified that they’ll never find anyone else.If you find yourself in that zone between wanting to be in a relationship, and being absolutely terrified of the prospect, read on.If you’ve been alone for a long time, chances are you’ve gotten really comfortable with your own company, your own preferences and habits, etc.None of us know when we’re going to exit stage left, and we’re just as likely to keel over from sudden illness or injury as we are at the age of 90.We all crave authentic connections with other people, and a loving relationship can do wonders for you – body, mind, and soul.That’s a really horrid thing to do, and will damage them far more than your honesty ever could.This often leads people to either dive into a relationship with the first person they get along with, or has them shying away from any kind of intimate connection for the rest of their lives.If that’s the case, acknowledge it, and be aware of it as you start meeting potential dates.Ultimately, the more we have, the more we risk losing.As such, ask yourself a few vital questions:This is a bit beyond reason #1 with the “afraid of getting hurt” bit. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re not ready to love again, and it’s absolutely okay to just seek a more casual arrangement with a potential lover.If you meet someone you really connect with, and you’re afraid that you might hurt them, talk to them about that feeling.You won’t know each other’s capabilities, insecurities, and boundaries unless you discuss them honestly, right?Are you familiar with the expression “catching feelings”?This goes along with #1. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. Everything is going to be okay. The latter is common if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, so there’s an underlying fear of having to deal with unwanted drama and attempts to control you. And be honest. Thing is, the older we get, the more life experience we have, and as a result, the more “baggage” we carry with us.Everyone, regardless of gender, has some kind of hangup about their body, and these insecurities just pile up with age.That’s why you hear so much about people “settling,” especially when they believe that they’re “past their prime.”When you’ve let your walls down, let another person into your life and heart, and they hurt you and betray that trust, it can be incredibly difficult to drop your protective walls again.To thine own self be true, darling.